Saturday, August 16, 2008

The "Other" Jonas

On August 13th, 2008, hearts were broken and tears were shed. The fragile world of thousands of pre-teen and teen girls who's parents subscribe to the Washington Post was shattered. Why, you ask? Because Washington Post reporter, J. Freedom du Loc (cool name btw) dared to call Kevin Jonas "the other one" while Nick and Joe were so lovingly referred to as "the cute" and "the hot" ones, respectively. Many girls, who could neither spell nor properly speak English, sent in letters in defense of their beloved Jonas Brother.

At first I was skeptical - isn't it true that Kevin Jonas is "the other one"? He never sings lead - that harrowing task belongs to both Joe and Nick (
"Red dress!") . He doesn't not date Miley Cyrus anymore - once again a task that poor Nick had to take on himself ("The 7 things I hate about you!!"). He didn't play the male lead to Demi Lovato's Camp Rock character - a role that sizzling hot Joe had to play ("You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason for my singing"). So doesn't that make him "the other one" - "the selfish, lazy, unwilling to date Disney stars" one? But I see now that my thinking was wrong. The brave girls who dared have their pride, sanity and level of education questioned by thousands, changed my mind for the better with their convincing arguments as to why Kevin Jonas is more than the "other" Jonas. Here are the Top 5 most convincing reasons why Kevin Jonas is not "the other one" according to some brave and articulate Washington Post readers:

"He's amazing at the guitar, and if you've ever been to any of their concerts, you would know that. He spins around probably about ten times, while still playing. That takes alot of skill."* - Victoria
-Wow, boy was I wrong about Kevin Jonas! It must take amazing acrobatic and balancing skills to spin around and play guitar at the same time. And ten times!! Whoooaaa!!! I bet Slash can't spin ten times and play the guitar at the same time...amateur...

2. "he could be at collage or doing his own thing now!" - cass
- This is a valid point. Kevin Jonas is 20 years of age and most other 20 year old young men are probably at collage. I honestly don't really understand what it means to "be at collage" but it sounds important and it sounds like something an important guy like Kevin Jonas would do. Good thinking, cass!

3. "they are an amazing band and all three are just as talented and gorgeous as the next." - devon
- One thing I never realized, until devon pointed it out, of course, was how talented and gorgeous ALL the Jonas Brothers are. Nick is gorgeous in a "I'm a pouty 15 year old musician with curly hair who dates my fellow Disney stars" kinda way. Joe is gorgeous in a "I'm in love with my straightener and skinny jeans" kinda way. Kevin is gorgeous in a "I have curly hair and wear cool vests" kinda way. And the Jonas Brothers continue to display their talents in such lasting classics as "Mandy" and "SOS". I see what you're saying, devon.

4. "Kevin Jonas may not be as good looking as Joe and Nick, but if there was no Kevin, there would be no jonas brothers!" - Sydney
Frankly I'm a bit confused because I thought we had all just agreed that Kevin was as good looking as Joe and Nick. Apparently not. I guess I'll have to do some further soul searching, prayer and meditation to come to a more concrete conclusion. However, I must admit that Sydney has succeeded in convincing me that without Kevin there would be no Jonas Brothers. It is quite clear that Nick and Joe cannot possibly be brothers without Kevin. Duh! And who takes a band headed by only TWO brothers seriously?? Anyone ever heard of Oasis? Nope, didn't think so. Ever heard of Hanson?...I rest my case.

5. "I bet if you were forced to spend a day with the Jonas Brothers, or just Kevin, you'd find out he's one of the sweetest, nicest guys around." - Julia
- Julia really got me here. I'm an absolute sucker for sweet, nice guys. Does this mean that Nick and Joe Jonas are jerks? It probably does. It's probably why poor Kevin is forced to only play guitar and only have bit parts in the Jonas Brothers' thespian exploits. Kevin is just too nice and sweet to say anything to his bitchy baby brothers.

This Washington Post article changed my life. I used to be one of those deluded Jonas "fans" that thought Joe and Nick were the life of the band. I honestly didn't even know that Kevin was their brother. I didn't even know his name! I thought he was some poor sucker they put up front to make the band aesthetically pleasing. But I see that I was wrong. Kevin is just as important as "the cute one" and "the hot one." He isn't "the other one" - he's the "10x spinning, non-collage going, talented, gorgeous, maybe not as good looking, sweet, nice one." Thanks Jonas fans for showing me the error of my ways.

*This was copied exactly as it appeared in the Post which was, in turn, copied exactly the way it was sent to the Post.

P.S. - Happy Belated 19th Birfday Joe Jonas!

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