Saturday, October 31, 2009

Why I Love...

(WARNING: Nothing duck related inside)

I'm just trying to spice things up here on the Juicebox by talking about the weather! (Contradictory? I think not!) Fall is a great time of year. The best thing about fall is the temperature. Oh Boy! What's more fun then dressing for the 40 degree morning weather only to be sweating in your 40 degree weather outfit later when the temperature shoots up 75 degrees?! Nothing! Nothing is more fun than that!

Also great about fall is the lovely tendency of the trees to toss acorns down at your head. I have yet to be hit by one but I do love the rush of walking under a tree and wondering whether or not I'll be hit in the head by an acorn. Fun!

Going back to the temperature, one of my favorite parts about fall is the people who refuse to let go of summer. There's something heartwarming about watching you shiver in your tank top, flip flops and shorts when its 40 degrees out because you just can't let go. (Yes, I will be jealous of you come 70 degree time but for now, I'm laughing.)

In all seriousness though, fall is a really nice time of the year when the weather isn't being funky. The leaves turn pretty colors and the turkeys come out to play... Good times!

Happy Halloween! Have fun being drunken sluts!

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

We the People of the United States... order to form a more perfect union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the right to do whatever the hell it takes to get on Television. probably didn't hear about this but they changed the preamble to the Constitution. Nice, huh?

Welcome to the United States where one of our favorite pastimes is forcing our children to hide in attics, releasing giant balloons, lying to the authorities about our children being caught in said balloon and then sending the authorities on a wild goose chase after said balloon in hopes of saving the non-existent child.

This "15 Minutes" syndrome is a strange sort of dilemma that seems to be enhanced by the advent of reality television. It used to be that people had to have some kind of talent to get on tv. You know: You can sing, or act or dance or tell funny jokes. If your talent didn't fall into these traditional A/V realms, maybe you'd find yourself in a human interest piece on your local news channel and you'd get your 15 minutes that way. But not these days. The talent pool seems to have expanded to include things that I wouldn't really consider talents.

For example, TLC seems to think it's a talent to have a lot of babies and then, *gasp*
take care of them! What a novel idea!: Having children and then taking responsibility for their well-being! I guess the fascination with these large families come from the fact that the average American family these days only has about 2 children. It's interesting to see how they deal with their abundance of children. But, put this show on a couple decades ago and I don't know that it would be so intriguing. I can understand a short special here and there with updates and whatnot. But what about watching the Gosselins and Duggars every week do everyday things is so fascinating? Yes, they have 10 billion kids, but I'd be satisfied with looking at a picture, going "Wow, that's a lot of kids" and moving on.

Another fine example comes from MTV, who seems to think it's a talent to be rich and spoiled. I guess it could be considered
fun to be a spoiled bitch but a talent? I think not. I'm not sure what the purpose of these shows are; shows like "My Super Sweet 16" and "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills." I like to think that MTV is being ironic with "My Super Sweet 16." I mean, I hope we're supposed to pity and not envy those kids. As for "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills"...I'm thinking it's MTV's lazy attempt at a teen drama. They just formulate some story lines and get some rich kids to ad lib for a bit. No having to pay writers! Or, they really expect us to be SO fascinated by the lives of the privileged. I guess some people like to agonize over the dilemmas of the oh-so-rich: "What will LC do? She must decide between buying the Gucci or Chanel bag! She can't buy both because no more rich people stuff will fit in her Mercedes! Find out what she does next week on The Hills!"

The thing about all these "reality stars" is they're famous for being people who are either a) willing to humiliate themselves for money or b) willing to have cameras invade their lives because one tiny aspect of it is abnormal. Unless lacking dignity is a talent then I don't see what makes these people worthy of all the attention they get. As for the "willing to have people invade their lives for something abnormal" stars, sometimes what's abnormal about their life isn't so abnormal at all. What's so abnormal about Brooke Hogan that we should follow her around all day? I guess being completely and utterly useless to society is kinda special but does it warrant a TV show? I'll let you decide. (Hint: NO)

So, I'm guessing "15 Minute" Syndrome kinda comes from a "If they can be famous, why can't I?" place. ( I mean
seriously, if Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag can be famous, why can't I?) If you have some sort of "talent" (ability to stay awake at your boring job, cooking Ramen noodles, etc) then you start to think you deserve some recognition for it because, hell, Paris Hilton got herself a TV show for just being stupid!

Then, I think it also comes from all the glamour and perks of being a celeb. You know...obnoxious people shoving cameras in your face, your "friends" selling you out to trashy magazines, strangers making fun of your cankles on gossip blogs...all that glamorous stuff. (Flossy, flossy) We love celebrities in America. We love telling them how beautiful they are and how much better they are then all us commoners. We pay them millions of dollars every year to make us feel fat, ugly and worthless. It's only natural that we'd get fed up being a commoner and want to be a celebrity.

So, if we can't sing or dance or act or tell funny jokes (or act like we're singing funny jokes while we dance) then we make something up or do something stupid in hopes that TLC or MTV or whatever will come knocking and begging to share in our shame for the entertainment of the American people.

Oh, America the BEAutiful.

ciao :)

P.S.: See what little Falcon Heene
thinks about being a reality star. Take that, Papa Heene! (Or not since he doesn't seem to give a damn)
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Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear Geocities

Oh, Geocities. How I will miss you. You hosted all my angsty teenage poetry. And now, along with my adolescence, you die. You will be missed, even if i hadn't logged in for years. If only I had that poetry in my hands still. Thanks for all you have done and for keeping me busy when I was thirteen.

Señorita Brownie McTree

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

This Post is Bigger After the Jump

Sorry; that was too easy I suppose. So, for you Doctor Who fans, here's a TARDIS iPod sock I made for my roommate's birthday. (October is le month of birthdays here in Ziggy's Magical Starship.
It's a basic sock, with the windows and suck embroidered on it. The end.
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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Beware: Needles are Back

Good Golly! It's Time for some elderly crafts! Yea, I know. I've been pretty m.i.a lately. And I apologize. But good news is that I've been busy! OK, not really, but I finished a few projects and am ready to share.

Now if you'll recall I've mentioned the lack of knit projects for cute toys out there. I'm not a crocheter, at least not a good one, so I was desperate to find something. Sure i had my bird pattern, but that gets boring. Enter Amigurumi Knits.
My reaction when I came across this book at Borders? FINALLY! I mean really, crochet had the strong hold on the cute squishies for much to long. Future research lead me to Hansi Singh's Etsy page where she had more patterns for sale. But first the book.

Compared to the other book I've briefly mentioned, this book was wicked accessible and easy to follow. How do I know this? Because the octopus I made for my roommate's birthday looks like this:
Yeah. The fact that it even remotely resembles the one in the book is a fabulous sign. Many points won. But really, HE'S SO CUTE! And he really is mini. I could hold it in one hand. The entire book is filled with cute patterns, from garlic to a snail to a jackelope. I'm so pleased!

There are more for the future, including a pattern I bought on the Etsy page, and I'll keep the updates coming. Now if you'll excuse me, Rascal Flatts are on Conan and I need to plug my ears.

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