Sunday, May 31, 2009

Why I Love...


The month of May has just been full of whores doing the fame stroll. It was hard to choose just one FAMEWHORE for the month of May so I'm gonna dish on my two faves. 

I haven't decided whether or not I like Lady Gaga. Music-wise, she's alright. The overplay on the radio is having a bit of a negative effect for this girl. As for the image? It just screams "FAMEWHORE!" It's cool that she wants to be all "trendy" and "artistic" and whatnot, but the personified teacup, the bowtie hair and the constant lack of pants?...Eh.  It's all just trying much too hard. But that doesn't stop the love. I absolutely adore the celebs that have to try so hard to stay in the spotlight because they provide us with so much entertainment. I mean, I really like seeing the plethora of pantless outfits. They're so many! And they aren't skirts or dresses, it's amazing! 

I also love Lady Gaga trying to convince us of what a regular ol' whore she is. Don't you dare think this girl is pristine! She loves sex...with guys and girls. Yes my friend, Lady Gaga is a card carrying member of the ever expanding Hollywood bisexual club. I feel like every other day a celeb is declaring their love for both sexes. Are they for real? I'm not them so I don't know. But it definetely screams "FAMWHORE" stroll when you have to tell everyone how much you LOVE to have SEX ALL the TIME.  

Lindsay Lohan is an even better FAMEWHORE than Lady Gaga because Lady Gaga actually has a career! And yet Lindsay has the paps on her balls day and night! Lindsay hasn't been the lead in a movie that went to the theaters since I Know Who Killed Me. (Which I heard killed those who went to see it). I'm pretty sure all Lindsay Lohan does is shop for leggings or leave the country for undeserved vacations. That's when she's not digesting whatever substance she's on. My favorite example of her FAMEWHORE ways was her magazine cover and her Ellen interview. She wasn't promoting anything except her patheticness.  Total FAMEWHORE behavior. And I love it. 

I hope to see more FAMEWHORING from these young ladies. It brings me much joy. 

(Honorable Mentions: Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, Megan Fox)

P.S. - I had to change my font. Apparently, Blogger hates Georgia now? 
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Thursday, May 28, 2009

OH NOES! You have forsaken us!

But of course not, dear (imaginary) blog reader! Sitting at home on my ass all day "looking" for a job is a very time consuming activity. But fear not..your Juicebox future holds some Pop Culture Justice, Real Talk and, as always, I will be telling you Why I Love some lucky person, place or phallic symbol in this grand month of May. 

Hopefully you all are out of school and enjoying "summer" (I keep forgetting it's still spring). And for all you poor college students: if you are so fortunate, continue to mooch off of your parents - you won't get to do this much longer without looking like a loser. For those who aren't so fortunate: job hunting is annoying in this economy, ain't it? And for all you so called "adults": sucks not to have a summer break anymore, doesn't it! (HAHA!)

So y'all come back, ya hear?

P.S. - If you're missing my fellow blogger-in-crime and become tired of my Twilight-hating, King Kevin-worshipping, Miley-idolizing not fear! She will brb. 
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Sunday, May 3, 2009

Look over there!

And by over there I mean under the calendar. There's a list of blogs we read and you should be reading them, too. There's some fatassery, some comics, some celeb gossip, and even some literary-ness from our friend Doug Paul Case. Don't worry, he already know how awesome his name is.


Now playing:
Mad Caddies - Silence
via FoxyTunes

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Saturday, May 2, 2009

It's Finally Here

Well, as you may well know, our little calendar to the right is mistaken. You see, at the time of writing, Jonas was pushed back to September. As you know, it in fact premieres tonight, a whole four months before our calendar says so. Our apologies. Hail King Kevin!

Anywho, here are my reactions (well, maybe not all of them) as I watch the first episode:

7:57 - Wait, "When the Bells Rings" is still on even after Lovato left? For shame.
8:00 - PLAID!
8:00 - Kevin's adorable. Like a cloud shaped rabbit. Nick sounds bored and isn't very good at this. Joe's jacket is awesome. They talk to the camera. We'll see how this goes.
8:01 - Kevin deserves first billing. Good job Disney, you got it right for once! However, since when does Joe play guitar?
8:03 - So they kept the famous thing there, eh?
8:04 - Nick isn't good at this.
8:07 - Will Smith shout-out. Joe and Kevin are the best part of this show. An otter that plays the trumpet. I mean, come on! That's awesome.

Woops, started homework when they started their mini music video. Hope I didn't miss anything good.

8:13 - Monocles and mustaches! Taped to his face!
8:13 - Surprise, she stole his song. And clearly she didn't tell him to go see her and thus would never find out. Oh, wait . . .
8:15 - Up! I'm so excited for that movie!
8:20 - Nick is really bad at this. And it was all a misunderstanding. Of course.
8:23 - Less Nick, more Kevin (and I never thought I'd say this) and Joe.

Okay that's it. I have work to do, and watching JoBros make music isn't helping. Let's face it, their music is the worst part about them.

Verdict: I won't watch it every week. Nick's annoying; Kevin and Joe make a pretty good goofy comedy team. Still not sure why the show exists, though. Really it all just says, Hail King Kevin! So we're back to where we started.


Now playing:
Fake Problems - The Heaven & Hell Cotillion
via FoxyTunes

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