Sunday, May 30, 2010

King Kevin Does It Again

And by "it" I mean teaches us why he's King, you sickos.* (Also remember when he used to straighten his hair? How unfortunate.)

Apparently, the moment King Kevin realized he wanted to be a musician was when he was at an MxPx show, at least that's what Dying Scene is reporting, and dammit if that doesn't warm the heart. The boy has good taste in music. Maybe that's why the others never let him play a big part in the music making/performing process. His good taste clashes with their poopy taste. Yes, poopy taste.

It's OK King Kevin. We all know your intentions and inspirations are great.

*Besides, they sleep in separate rooms anyway.
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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Why I Love...

The Golden Girls!
The only sucky thing about being in the UK right now is that Hulu discriminates against the Brits so I can't watch SNL. As a result, I've missed the recent culmination of Bettymania: Betty White co-hosting SNL. But it's ok. I'll just wait. Anyway, we're not here to laud Betty White alone. This month I'm expressing my undying love for The Golden Girls.

One of my favourite ways to unwind after a long summer day of doing absolutely nothing is to watch a couple episodes of The Golden Girls. The GGs are great for a couple reasons.

First of all: BEA ARTHUR (God rest her) as resident Deadpan Snarker, Dorothy Zbornak. Dorothy's always got some great reply to the numerous stupid things that Rose says. She also makes references to 80s pop culture that I don't get but I laugh anyway because I'm kinda dumb like that. Or! It's just that funny. (Let's go with the latter) As you know, I have much love for shameless sluts (See: Mia from Degrassi) so you know I have nothing but respect for Blanche, The Golden Girls' fancy, Southern, slutty flower. Even though Dorothy and Blanche are my favourites, I still have love for Rose and Sophia because both are pretty damn funny.

Another reason I love The Golden Girls is because it's bascially a bunch of old people talking about sex. I don't know about you but personally I get pretty bored of listening to young people talk about sex. It's not as classy, ya know? Old people FTW.

Besides that, The Golden Girls is one of the many great sitcoms of the mid-80s/early-90s. I think the sitcom has been dying a slow, painful death since the mid-90s and watching shows like The Golden Girls and comparing it to some stuff made post-1995 should show the difference between a good sitcom and the shittiness they call situation comedies these days. As with any good sitcom, The Golden Girls tackled some pretty big deal 80s issues while staying on point with the humour and not making you feel like you were watching a primetime after-school special.

Nothing's greater than watching a bunch of older ladies navigate their loves lives while stuffing their faces with cheesecake. I don't watch Sex and the City but I'm just gonna assume that The Golden Girls did it first and did it better. Alright, I'm off to stuff my face with cheesecake! I'll leave you with this fantastic scene:

P.S. - Oh yeah - the theme song!! Can't believe I almost forgot...
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Dear Loving Celebrity the Retrospective Director Edition

Dear Steve Barron,

You've directed many of our favorite visual stuff. The list includes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie, Coneheads, and a whole mess of our favorite 80's videos, such as the video for Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me with Science" and the a-ha video for "Take on Me." We really appreciate this. One thing though...

Apparently you did not want any dancing in the video you directed for Michael Jackson. This video was "Billie Jean." You almost screwed the pooch with that mindset. Be glad MJ convinced you to let him dance for 30 seconds because you are now eternally related to the video of the song that brought us the Moonwalk. Just saying.

The Juicebox

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

King Kevin Graces Us with His (TV) Presence

We're not worthy!

So if you're not a game show enthusiast, aren't happy with NBC (*cough*Team CoCo*cough*)or just don't like middle-aged dudes with bleached hair, then you probably haven't watched this show Minute to Win It. Basically normal people have to do challenges with normal stuff in 60 seconds or less and have three lives and they try to win a million dollars blah blah blah.

Doesn't matter. Point is that King Kevin called them up and was all "Yo, put me on the show" and they were all "Hells yeah we will!"

He kicked some household-item ass. Watch the episode:

Now you may be asking why King Kevin didn't go all the way. Doesn't that mean he doesn't deserve to be King? That he's just some regular dude with plaid shirts and and rabid fans? And to this I say how dare you question his greatness! You're not worthy, indeed! Clearly he needs to seem average so we don't die from his awesomeness. Clearly. Besides, Fieri says it himself, King Kevin has won the most money in the (short) history of the show. So there, nay-sayers. Just be happy King Kevin is a forgiving King.

PS Notice how Joe was just *too busy* to be there. I mean come on, even Nick was there and he has two bands. My guess is that by the time Joe was satisfied with his hair the show wa--no he's still working on his hair.
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