Real Talk: The MTV Movie Awards

Well, I better talk about this waste of an hour and a half before it becomes old news. Sigh. lol. 

Andy Samberg. Real Talk: He was an alright host. I can't say that I've ever tortured myself with the MTV Movie Awards before so I can't compare him to other hosts. He wasn't really there that much so there isn't really much to say about him. He was as adorable and charming as usual so I didn't mind him at all. Also, his rap at the beginning was pretty awesome. Gotta love the guy. 

Hair. Real Talk: The most interesting part of the show. I know you're supposed to pay attention to people's outfits when they come to these things but, eh, who really cares? I was more into the tresses. Ok, so first off was Ashley Tisdale's new brown hair. I thought it looked yucky - sorta like poop. The sad part? That's her natural hair color. Hmmm...Then there was ZEfron's hair. Ugh. Someone give that kid a haircut and please, wash it while you're at it. I don't know why he thinks it looks good to look like you've dunked your head in chicken fat. It's not attractive.  Lastly was Zachary Quinto's hair. If I were a white guy, I would do my hair like Zac Q. It was adorable and only added to his overall hotness. It makes me sad that Heroes sucks so bad that I won't even watch it to catch a glimpse of Zac Q's attractiveness. 

RPattz & KStew. Real Talk: I am now officially in love with these two. Yes, I know I've already expressed my love for RPattz, but I now need to add KStew to that list. I loved how exasperated RPattz seemed to be by the numerous awards that he was winning. Each time he got up to accept an award he either had an "Oh great," "Here we go again" or, "Good God!" look on his face. KStew also shared this sentiment. But I didn't just love KStew for her shared disgust at the awards.  I loved that she had to take a couple puffs of the good stuff for to be able to sit through the snooze fest. Ha. Keep smoking that green KStew! It makes you much more interesting. 

Megan Fox. Real Talk: Blech. Was it just me or was she giving major bitchface? Only RPattz and KStew are allowed to give bitchface at the MTV Movie Awards. Ms. Fox doesn't run the risk of being attacked by Twihards so she can just take her mean mug face elsewhere. Like, to hell. 

Eminem. Real Talk: By now we all know that the Bruno/Eminem incident was staged but that doesn't stop it from being HIlarious. As for his performance, I've never really been a fan so I can't comment too much on his music except to say, geez, he's really behind on the times. All his pop culture references are old as hell. Get with the times, my friend. And what's up with his super skinniness? It makes his ears look really big. (I wish I had a good Dumbo joke to stick in here...)

Blessed Virgin Miley. Real Talk: This chick is letting me down! Did you see her dancing to that un-Godly Eminem music? She is NOT doing a good job maintaining her Blessed Virgin status. Occasional shout-outs to God won't save your doomed soul Miley! You better watch yourself. 

D.Rad. Real Talk: He's awesome. 'Nuff said.

Overall evaluation?  Real Talk: It sucked. It was too long and too boring. That being said, I wasn't too disappointed because I didn't expect much. It was cool seeing the fake and real New Moon trailers (I'm looking forward to choking on more egg rolls come this November.) And the medley of Lonely Island songs was very entertaining. However, those two events weren't enought to save it. All in all, it was a waste of time. Why they're still making these things, I don't know. But, if I get to see a stoned KStew drop another golden popcorn, I think I might sit through another one. Might. 

P.S. - Did you know that Selena Gomez was dating Taylor Lautner (aka Jacob from Twilight)? Supposedly they broke up. Ugh. Why, again, do I care about these things?

2009 MTV Movie Award logo property of MTV/Viacom