Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Let Our Chastity Combine...GO PURITY!

I'm am thoroughly disappointed in the number of pure teen stars that insist upon spoiling the good name of young Hollywood. I don't know whether or not you've noticed but, there has been a strange onslaught of "pure" Hollywood kids, all donning purity rings. This is new to me because when I was growing up (which I am nowhere near done doing, mind you) there were no "pure" young stars. Well, except for Jessica Simpson - but was she really a star? Yeah… Anyways, when a young star ever talked about his or her sex life, it was only to insist that he or she was a virgin. And then that was it. Or at least that's the way I remember it. Like I said before, Jessica Simpson is the only person I ever remember hearing about that wore a ring promising her father to stay pure until she was married.

Now, there's nothing wrong with making that promise. Good for you. What interests me is the new fight against what we know as Hollywood. Ah, Hollywood...the disgusting cesspool of all the lowest, dirtiest, people in America. The place where all bad morals come into being and are then spread to the masses through the "liberal media elite" (You betcha!). The go-to spot for a new partner every couple of weeks complete with a high chance of an STD infection. (Oh, that Paris!) But now these kids have come in and told everyone(!) how they plan on saving themselves for marriage. Now I bet you're saying, "This chick's crazy! It's only the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus flashing their purity rings." Well, as usual, you're WRONG. There's Demi Lovato...Selena Gomez…uh, Jordin Sparks…ok. You weren't wrong. There's only a few that I can name. But it's still interesting!

On reason it's interesting is because, in case you haven't noticed, the Jonas Brothers are actual boys and they are the only boys on my list. America is in love with double-standards and one of our favorites is that men should sleep with as many women as possible while women should save her cherry for one lucky guy. So, the fact that the Jonas Brothers are all over the place insisting that they'll never touch genitals with a woman until they've both said "I Do" is very interesting. Most other boy celebrities their age would be subtly hinting at their numerous sexual exploits. But not these kids. They're all, "I'm saving myself for Jesus!"

The pure girls, however, aren't that interesting…which is why they are interesting. Your brain is aching -so let me explain. It's really only women who are expected to insist upon their virginity. Britney Spears did. Jessica Simpson did. Christina Aguilera (kinda) did. But no one was bugging Justin Timberlake about whether or not he'd swiped his v-card. No one was like, "Please, Backstreet Boys, tell me you're all virgins!" No. No one looses respect for a guy that is not a virgin but if you're a girl who's been doing the deed, then you'll get the branding: SLUT!/WHORE!/HO! It is not really abnormal for Miley to tell everyone that she's a virgin and tell everyone how long she insists about carry that title (Blessed Virgin Miley)because that's what we want to hear.

I think it's funny, and kind of sad, that these girls (yes, the Jonas Brothers included) have to flash their purity rings in order to maintain the respect of their fans and their fans' parents. It's no secret that young girls everywhere flocked to the IMDb boards to call Jamie Lynn Spears a SLUT! when they found out she was pregnant. It's also no secret that it's gonna be impossible for her to reappear on Nickelodeon and have the same career (assuming she still has a career) that she did before.

The pure Hollywood youngsters are alright. Their presence doesn't bother me. But it does highlight that ever present (and disgustingly hypocritical) double-standard that Americans have about sex. It also makes us ask, "Why do we care?" Should the fact that Selena Gomez is a virgin make me like her more than Jamie Lynn Spears who is so obviously NOT a virgin? Does not being a virgin depreciate one's human worth? If I'm a no talent loser can I still get a record deal if I show you my purity ring? And if I'm a not-so-talented guy who's had his share of ladies, will I be chosen over the talented girl who's had her share of guys?

I don't know - it's just something to think about.

P.S. - Happy Belated 16th Birfday Miley Cyrus! Look out for Miley on the road kiddos! (Really, look out. I don't trust this girl behind the wheel of a car. Still my idol!)

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