Boo! It's October!

We all know October is the month of scary; scary costumes, scary candy and even scarier Halloween specials of your favorite tv shows. ("Even scarier" = "extremely corny") I am of the opinion that October 2008 has to be one of the scariest Octobers yet - and here's why:

1. The ever plummeting economy! Nothing is scarier than being a college student and watching the economy die before your eyes. How the hell am I supposed to get a job? I can't sit here and blog for the rest of my life! (Well, I could, but the Jonas Brothers are destined to loose their fan base sometime soon.)

2. The premier of High School Musical 3: Senior Year. This one is extra scary. Almost scarier than the dying economy. I fear for my precious eyes which will be bombarded by pictures of resident pretty boy Zac Efron, his beard Baby V and "It was a deviated septum" Ashley Tisdale. I'm afraid I'll have to stop watching television until November rolls around - watching tv means I'll run the risk of seeing HSM3 trailers which also means I'll run the risk of hearing the horrid songs. Ouch. My eardrums ache just from the thought of it.

3. Britney Spears' New Single, Womanizer and accompanying MV. That was a long one. So, for some strange and twisted reason I usually like Britney Spears' "music." I think it's a result of being a young and impressionable child in the mid-90s. (Really, the 3 Britney Spears CDs I own were given to me as gifts. I liked BS but I never asked anyone for the CDs. Weird...) (lol...get it? BS? Haha!) Anywho, this new song is definitely NOT one I'd like to ever listen to again. The nicest way to put it is, uhh, it sucks. And the video? Same ol', same ol'. How do you know Halloween is fast approaching? Well, just look out for a music video featuring B. Spears writhing around in a sauna...in the nude. *Shiver*

4. Presidential "Debates". There's something inherently scary about watching two middle aged men squabble. Especially when that squabbling is over who gets to man our country over the next four years. I'm no big political fanatic but as a newly eligible voter I feel the need to use my awesome voting powers to end this squabble once and for all. November 4th will tell us whether or not we should continue to be scared for the next four years.

5. Last but not least...Saturday Night Live's Funny Spell! Honestly, what's scarier than SNL being funnier than it has for the last few seasons? It seems that SNL has been suffering from the "hit and miss" virus but lately, thanks to Tina Fey and the thick political air, it seems to be back on track for a while. We'll see what happens once the political race comes to a close and Amy Poehler leaves (*tear*) but there's hope! Take a look: SNL's saving grace.

Well kind readers, thank you for joining me on this scary ride. I hope I haven't given you a heart attack. Stay safe! And please, for your own health, stay home on October 24th.

ciao!

P.S. - Anyone realize that most of my posts have been lists? I should be a professional list maker...
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Build Your Own Rabbit Army!

So here’s the pattern for the bunny hat. Yea! This is meant for an adult. One day I might make a smaller version for a child or something, but for now adults get to be adorable.

I used a Medium weight yarn (Bernat Berella “4.” You know, The Afghan Yarn) in two different colors, white (C2) and black (C1). Though brown and beige, or any other cute bunny colors, would work. I had a lot of yarn left over so you could probably also use just one ball of one color, if you’d prefer. According to the packaging, tension’s about 4.5 stitches per inch. It didn’t occur to me to measure to get it right, but I’m sure any medium weight should be fine.

You’ll also need:
16” Circulars, Size 8
DPNs, Size 8
Straight needles, Size 8 (Optional. I just use the DPNs)
A stitch marker
A piece of pink felt, about 8x10”
Needle and thread that nearly matches the pink felt
Small crochet hook

Also please excuse any mistakes in notation and such. I’ll try my best to keep it to the standard notations but if there’s any confusion let me know. Onward!

Main Hat:

CO 90 stitches in C1. Place marker and join the round.
Rows 1-5: *k5, p5.* Repeat from * to* until end of row.
Rows 6-10: *p5, k5.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 11: Switch to C2. K until end of row
Continue in stockinette stitch for 20 rows or until the C2 section is about 3.25 inches. Again, I forgot to keep track, but I’m pretty sure it was about 20.

Decreases (Switch to DPNs when needed. I had to at about row 27)

Row 21: *k11, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 22: *k10, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 23: *k9, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 24: *k8, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 25: *k7, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 26: *k6, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 27: *k5, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 28: *k4, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 29: *k3, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 30: *k2, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 31: *k1, k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
Row 32: *k2tog.* Repeat from * to * until end of row.
At this point there should be about 8 stitches on your needle. If not, then I forgot a row, which means you should repeat Row 32.

Cut the yarn and pull through remaining stitches. Weave in the ends.

Ear Flaps:

On CO edge, find a square of stockinette stitch. CO 15 stitches using straight needles. You should have CO on along three squares in a knit, purl, knit pattern. (I hope this makes sense). When you start knitting, the wrong side of the hat should be facing you.

Rows 1,3,5,6,8,10,11,13,15: k5, p5, k5
Rows 2,4,7,9,12,14: p5, k5, p5
Row 16: k1, k2tog, k2, p5, k2, k2tog, k1
Row 17: p4, k5, p4
Row 18: k4, p5, k4
Row 19: p1, p2tog, p1, k5, p1, p2tog, p1
Row 20: k3, p5, k3
Row 21: k3, p2tog, p1, p2tog, k3
Row 22: p3, k3, p3
Row 23: k1, k2tog, p1, p2tog, k2tog, k1
Row 24: p2, k2, p2
Row 25: k2, p2tog, k2
Bind Off. Weave in ends.

Lay the hat flat so you can find the location of the other side’s earflap. CO 15 stitches as before. This time the center square should be a stockinette square.

Rows 1,3,5,6,8,10,11,13,15: p5, k5, p5
Rows 2,4,7,9,12,14: k5, p5, k5
Row 16: p1, p2tog, p2, k5, p2, p2tog, p1
Row 17: k4, p5, k4
Row 18: p4, k5, p4
Row 19: k1, k2tog, k1, p5, k1, k2tog, k1
Row 20: p3, k5, p3
Row 21: p3, k2tog, k1, k2tog, p3
Row 22: k3, p3, k3
Row 23: p1, p2tog, k1, k2tog, p2tog, p1
Row 24: k2, p2, k2
Row 25: p2, k2tog, p2
Bind Off. Weave in ends.
(As you may notice, the other earflaps are exactly the same, other than the knits and purls are switched.)

Ears:
Try on the hat and pinpoint where you want the ears to be.

CO 10 stitches.
*Row 1: k10
Row 2: k2, p6, k2*
Repeat from * to * 19 times.

Row 41: k2, k2tog, k2, k2tog, k2
Row 42: k2, p4, k2
Row 43: k2, k2tog, k2tog, k2
Row 44: k2, p2, k2
Row 45: k2tog until end of row
Row 46: k3
Bind off. Weave in ends. Repeat for other ear.

(At this point you need to choose which side of the ear you like better: the knit or purl side. The side you like will NOT be covered by the felt.)

Measure the ear, and cut out two pieces of felt smaller than the ear so it fits in the non-garter stitch edges. Sew the felt on using a light colored thread, making sure to only sew into the top layer of yarn and not go through to the other side.

Braids:

Cut five 14” pieces of C1 yarn. Cut four pieces of 14” C2 yarn. Cut two pieces of 5” C1 yarn.
Divide into three groups:
Groups 1 and 3: two C1 strands, one C2 strand
Group 2: one C1 strand, two C2 strands

In the center of the ear flap, pull through Group 2 with the crochet hook in standard fringe way. Pull through Groups 1 and 3 in the same way, one on either side of Group 2.

Braid the strands together, treating each group as an individual strand. Tie off the end with one of the 5” strands. Trim to make even.

Repeat on the other ear flap.

And you’re done! As I mentioned before, this is my first real pattern, so hopefully it makes sense and if not, feel free to ask for clarification. Hope you enjoy making and wearing it.

Oh, one last note, though it's mildly unnecessary as you know this and are a good person. Please only use the pattern for personal use, not for some monetary gains.

Okay, enough bureaucratic shit. Go make a cute hat!

Lator!
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(Enter Rabbit Noises Here)

So I have completed a knit project. Yea! If it weren't for school, I'd have more, but you know, education sometimes gets in the way.

Anywho, here's a snapshot:

This was for a friend's birthday. She's wanted a bunny hat for quite some time now, so I figured I'd surprise her with this little guy. I think it came out super cute, and she loves it, so all in all, awesome times.

The pink felt was last minute, but I think it definitely made a difference. The ears are extended in the picture, but they actually flop over which gives an extra cuteness to the whole thing. Kind of proud of this since it's my first completed hat pattern. Actually, that's a lie. I have another one that I made for another friend's birthday, I just keep forgetting to get pictures of that one.

I have the pattern for the bunny hat written somewhere, and once I type it up I'll post it. I just wanted to get the picture up to share. I also have charts/patterns for a pipe and mustache that I need to post as well.
Goodness, if only knitting were a major...

Lator.
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Why I Love...

...Facial Hair.

Yep, beards, 5 o'clock shadows, mustaches, and sideburns. This post is an ode to the wonderful practice of facial styling.

I've always been a bit jealous of the male population because they can do so much with their faces. Sure, we girls get to play with make-up, and tweezers and all sorts of fun stuff (mmm….sarcasm), but I’d much rather grow something on my face and make it look good.

Guys get to have awesome handlebar mustaches, and mutton chop sideburns. (I think I just drooled myself to death.) We have to tweeze or wax or bleach any remnant of hair on our face. It’s a pain in the ass. Sometimes I wish I could just grow a beard and join ZZ Top. (Though the latter would require musical talent...)

You see, facial hair is the epitome of manliness. When a scrawny guy can’t grow a beard, he is still a child in the eyes of the world. Slap a beard on him and POOF! he’s a man. A 5 o’clock shadow is the sign of a labor worker coming home to his woman. The handlebar mustache is a sign of two different things: A) the distinguished individual in 1845, and B) the awesome individual of 2008. And sideburns...well sideburns are likes hands holding a mans face in a caressing gesture. And by that I mean sideburns are BAD ASS.

Moving on, the fact is that men have more fun than girls. They get to grow their facial hair and treat it like a topiary garden. The possibilities are nearly endless, as this fantastic man displays.

(sigh) Sounds terrible, and Freud would think I want a penis, but sometimes being a guy seems so appealing.

Guess I'll have to settle for dating guys with facial hair.

.

..

...

....Any takers?

Lator.

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Life, Liberty and the Making of Petitions

America is a great country. Here in America, we enjoy classic, unique pastimes such as eating apple pie, playing our nation's favorite sport, football, um, I mean, baseball, shooting things, watching reality television and spending valuable hours on Facebook. But there is no pastime as classic and as special to America as creating petitions.

Americans love to create petitions and protest stuff. I guarantee you - if you announce you are going to do something- anything - you will get at least two people willing to protest it. This phenomenon is even more pronounced in the age of Facebook where every issue spawns a group or two in protest. Here are a couple of my favorite most recent protests:

1. Breaking Dawn Petition. A group of Twilight fans (now former Twilight fans) asked that author, Stephenie Meyer, acknowledge the fact that many thought Breaking Dawn was an "EPIC FAIL." The best part of the petition is the response of Seth, Stephenie Meyer's brother - which is on the page in the link. (I honestly don't know who Seth is to Meyer besides being her brother. Is he her webmaster? Her assistant? I don't know, nor do I care.) I beg you to read it. Does it not look like it was written by an angry 15 year-old boy? It just reeks immaturity. Anyway, moving on...


2. Midnight Sun petition. Still in the Twilight spirit, we move on to the many petitions to keep Midnight Sun alive. Midnight Sun is part five of the Twilight "Saga." It's from Edward's point of view. She put up a rough draft of the first chapter a while ago and I recently read it. Shoot me in the face. It was like reading the secret diary of some 18th century emo kid. Anywho, if you haven't already heard, Mrs. Meyer went and handed out copies of her rough manuscript like it was candy on Halloween night and some very kind person leaked it to the internet for the world to read. Well, Mrs. Meyer was not happy about this so, she pouted, said she was putting it on hold indefinitely and then, said something to this effect: "I wish you wouldn't read it because I'm not done with it yet but I'm posting it on my website so you can read it anyway. If you were my real fans you wouldn't read it! *pout* But here it is anyway." Lots of sad 12 year-old girls read it and now want her to complete it. Why? Well, gee, I just don't know.

3. The "New Facebook" petitions. One of my favorite most recent petitions has been the many Facebook groups that popped up in response to the "new" Facebook. Now, I use Facebook (Probably a little too much...I need to work on that) and I was also a little confused by the new layout. But it didn't irk me as much as it did some. Some brave souls have threatened to cancel their accounts. Others have vowed to stop using Facebook. To me, the whole issue is ridiculous. I mean, yes, the new layout is kind of annoying and a bit unnecessary but, it's not that bad. AND it was gonna have to change sometime; couldn't be the same forever. It just makes me laugh to see people get all worked up over the layout of some site. Poor kids - they must lack lives even more than I do!

4. Half-Blood Prince Release Date Petition. This one also makes me smile. See, I'm a big HP fan and I too was disappointed by the delayed release of Half-Blood Prince. (Juicebox Rants was supposed to have a HP themed November!) What most disappointed me was that WB pretty much flat out said they're doing it for the money. Don't they have tact! Most other productions companies would be smart and lie! ("Uh, yea, we decided to re-shoot the whole movie...so we're gonna need a couple more months") But why protest? Does anyone seriously think that just because some people want to see it in Nov. that's gonna stop the WB from trying to rack in a couple more millions? Let me tell you something kiddies: Here in America we like money. Lots and lots and LOTS of money. So if some little fly whispered in the ear of the WB folks saying, "Hey, move the release to summer and you'll make LOTS of money like you did this summer with The Dark Knight," then the WB folks are gonna smile, get dollar signs in their eyes and announce a press conference.

Maybe I'm just a pessimist. Or maybe I'm not a real American. (What? Does no one else agree that baseball is almost as boring as golf?) But I really think that there are certain situations where petitions are useless. Sorry Twilight fans - Stephenie Meyer is too much of a baby to admit her book sucked and she's too much of an attention whore to forfeit the opportunity to raise another cash cow. So, don't expect any acknowledgment and look out for Midnight Sun sometime within the next 5 years. Sorry Facebook users - "New Facebook" is here to stay. Get used to it. And sorry fellow HP fans. We're just gonna have to wait a couple more months to see Daniel Radcliffe (aka D.Rad aka THE SEX).

Sometimes petitions are useful. Sometimes they're a genuine waste of time. But most of the time, they're just good for the lulz.

ciao. Keep reading...

Which Would the Tin Man Prefer?

It's a good day for sure, because not only is the first list done (check it out for a barrel of laughs), but also after about a week or so I have finished my first embroidered project. It was a pretty ambitious first project I think. Thing is that it didn't include just embroidery but it was pretty big for a first try, and also included sewing linings and such things to make it pretty. Anyway, I'm quite happy, and here are pictures! It's like I'm a new mother, they're my babies, and you're the co worker who couldn't give a damn but are politely looking anyway. Rejoicing ensues.

So here's the overall view. Ignore the ugly linoleum please...To give you a sense of the bag size, it fits my laptop and then some. Yeah awesome school bag! The color choice for the bag isn't the best considering the amount of red embroidery, and the yellow is random, but when I bought the bag I was intending on screen printing, not embroidering lol

Here's a close up so you can see their adorable faces! Even the commentary is like the baby thing...
I'd originally used a very chain-like split stitch by hand to do the robots outlines, but it looked wonky so i did the third by machine. It looked great so I undid the other two and machine embroidered them as well. The faces and hearts were done by hand.

This is the lovely lining. I'm in love with this purple plaid.There was a lot left over so I hope to do more with it in the future. I'm thinking a vest, but my summer's over so it may take a while.

The straps were pretty fun. I wanted some of those awesome retro starbursts, but after some advice, it seemed that the robots took up a lot of space, but the straps were bare. The lining was a bitch to sew. I used our sewing machine, but i had to stop every couple inches because i had to watch out for the starbursts. It didn't help that the machine would stop randomly with no reason in sight.

Here's Sad Robot Number 1's zombie heart. I was quite proud of this one. It was my first of the three. Though I might not have done the satin stitch, looking back, because the stitches were quite long and the middle ones are running the risk of becoming loose. I particularly enjoy the bloody bits.

Speaking of bloody bits, here's Sad Robot Number 2's heart. I might be most proud of this one. It's as close to a human heart as I could draw on my own. I'll admit my mom drew on the other ones from a copy of the original design, but that's because she can draw while I can't. I just might trust my drawing now since this one came out pretty cool. It's hard to see the two different colors in person, but I'm glad the camera somehow got the color right.

And finally Happy Robot's metal heart. It didn't fill as well as the others, but the thread was thinner spool thread so it was mildly expected. I'll just say that it looks like the grain metal gets when you sand it ;)

Anywho, the rivets are made with french knots. I wasn't looking at the original drawing when i was adding them, so i forgot that not every edge of the sections had rivets, and now it looks crowded. However, unlike the original robot outlines, I wasn't about to cut out all the french knots and re-do it.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy the first elderly craft of the blog. Along with the new list on the side. I think Cuteness did a damn good job with that list. It entertains me. Alrighty, that is all for now...

Lies! I forgot to mention that I didn't win the Sugar Slam, though I got an honorable mention which is pretty cool.

Okay now I'm done.

Lator!

PS Sorry for the image heavy post, but I had too :D
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Happy September!

Check out our awesome list (to the left, to the left!...sorry). Hopefully this can become a monthly feature.

This month's list highlights some of the best anti-Twilight quotes that exist on the internetz. It is true that a majority of them are from Encyclopedia Dramatica's Twilight article but, I couldn't help it. Sue me. (Please don't) Click any quote to be magically transported to it's original location and enjoy major lulz.

ciao, y'all!

P.S. - Happy Labor Day, too, I guess. Keep reading...