Monday, August 30, 2010

Why I Love...

...Summer Radio!

To me, summer radio is special. It's the only time I really listen to the radio seeing as a)I only really listen when I'm in a car and b)I'm usually only hanging out with my car for a couple weeks out of the school year. So, the only time I get to catch up with what the young folks are listening to are doing those breaks at home.

What I love about summer radio is all the great lessons you learn. Yep, the schooling extends beyond the classroom. Due to most Top 40-esque radio stations only playing like, 12 songs on hour rotations, you tend to have some very important lessons hammered into your head over the course of 3 months. Here are 5 of the MOST important lessons I learned this summer. I can't wait to tell you what I learned!


1. "
Break Your Heart" taught by Professor Taio Cruz (with help from T.A. Ludacris)
What I Learned: It's a very basic lesson really: Taio Cruz is gonna break break your break break your heart. Don't worry, if you missed it the first time around, he repeats for you about 10 more times throughout the song. And if you miss it then, Ludacris will eventually put it into other words for you. Then Taio will repeat it again. It's a good teaching strategy, I must say.

2. "
OMG" taught by Professor Usher (with help from T.A.
What I Learned: Usher Raymond, a grown ass man, refers to a woman's chest as "boobies." And he thinks they're "pow pow pow," whatever that means.

3. "
Billionaire" taught by Professor Travie McCoy (with help from T.A. Bruno Mars aka the new love of my life)
What I Learned: When you can't understand what a person is singing, it ruins the joke they try to tell. Professor McCoy says,
"It's been a couple months that I've been single so, you can call me 'Travie Claus' minus the ho-hos. Get it?" At first I didn't "get it" because I couldn't understand the "since I've been single so" part. But, now I get it and it's not that funny. Disappointing. Oh, also, most importantly: Travie wants to be a billionaire, so freakin' bad.

4. "
Haven't Met You Yet" taught by Professor Michael Bublé
What I Learned: This is not a lesson that masters of summer radio would let me forget. Professor Bublé has yet to meet the woman of his dreams and he wants all of us to know. Too bad he doesn't know how desperate that makes him sound. Especially since homeboy recently got engaged. So, that means they should've stopped playing the song a while ago, right?? I know you agree.

5. "
California Gurls" taught by Professor Katy Perry (with help from T.A. Snoop Dogg)
What I Learned: Cal-i-forn-ia gurls are unforgettable. And really, fcking annoying. A lesson I didn't mind learning at first soon became insufferable. It was like, ok Professor Perry, I get it! California gurls wear bikini tops and daisy dukes. Now leave me alone!

These are only 5 of the many songs that became unbearable over the course of the summer. Being someone who does have some love for pop songs, I liked quite a few of these upon first listen. But then I started to hear them all the time. Others include "Alejandro" by the Gaga (that evil, evil, little woman), "Airplanes" by B.o.B., "Your Love is My Drug" by Ke$ha (haha, that looks dumb), "Find Your Love" by Drake and "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna.

And this is what I love about summer radio. They take their 12 mildly enjoyable songs and play them over and over and over and over again, annoying us half to death until that artist releases another single (Example: "Dynamite" offered us reprieve from Taio Cruz's incessant warnings about breaking all our hearts). It's like they don't understand; your playing "Love the Way You Lie" once every half and hour does not make me like the song more. It makes me hate you (and Eminem)
a lot. I know, I know, I can change the station. The only problem with that is I run the risk of hearing "Pretty Boy Swag."


ciao, summer!

No comments: