Thursday, August 12, 2010

Top 5 Best Worst Degrassi Couples

Welcome, my friends, to the final Degrassi Top 5. For the time being, of course, because really, I could do these all day. Hm...that's a thought...
Anyway, on to the best worst couples on Degrassi. These are the couples that are either so bad or so meh that I can do nothing but smile, laugh or shake my head in amused shame. Usually all three. Each couple is the best worst in their own special way so I'm sure you'll enjoy this one. Alright kiddos, let's do this.

5. Trick (Terri and Rick)

     I don't know if Trick is the proper way to refer to the Terri and Rick pairing but, I'm under the impression that no one cared enough to give them a name. I think it fits though because Rick tricked Terri into thinking he was a sane person. HAHAHAHA....

     Anyways, Terri and Rick weren't really that fascinating. But they were good because they brought us a new Degrassi "Issue of the Week" in a pretty decent fashion. The relationship development was a little fast (this was when Degrassi writers still pretended they knew the meaning of "development") but they made up for it by bringing Rick back to try and kill Terri with a boulder. And to give birth to Wheelchair Jimmy. So yay! Degrassi writers for a well-used and well-crafted recurring character.
     Trick was also good because it gave Hazel something to do (I think?). Hazel only had something to do when it came to being Paige's "yes" lady, kissing on Jimmy or telling people they've been abused. Well, there was the one time Hazel pretended to be Jamaican but, who cares? We've already established no one cares about Hazel. Trick also gave Terri something to do. Before Rick, she was just the fat chick whose mom died (Geez. She told that damn "My mom died" story all the time. Ok, Terri! We get it - your mom died). Like Hazel, the writers figured the only way to make Terri interesting was to put her in a relationship. At least they got it right with Terri and brought the drama.

     On the other side, Terri + Rick were bad for one obvious reason: beating on your girlfriend ain't nice. It's also not nice to be a psycho control freak and bash said girlfriend's head open with rocks. Ok, he didn't bash her with a rock, per se. But he put her in a coma, for God's sake! Not cute. Terri and Rick were also bad for other less obvious reasons: the chick that played Terri was a less-than-stellar actress and her beau, the dude that played Rick, was annoying to look at. I would have preferred if Rick was hot-creepy instead of plain, old creepy. 
     Even though their acting was sub-par and their "love" was kinda gross, Trick was a chance for the Degrassi writers to show the big girls some love...Even if that love consisted of sticking her with a psycho weirdo, putting her in a coma, then booting her off of the Degrassi island.

Close your legs, Terri. That's not very lady-like.
Wait. Damn. That's harsh. Even Hazel got a better send-off then that.

4. Jashley 2.0 (Jimmy and Ashley)
     Ah, Jashley. Jashley was our first taste of a Degrassi power couple until Spaige came along and showed us how it was really done. Anyway, Jashley 2.0 is the Season 5 finale resurrection of the once-dead relationship. (I'm ignoring their brief resurrection in Season 2)
     Jashley was golden for one main reason: the mega-bitch that is Ashley Kerwin made her triumphant return. All hail Ashley!  I think that Paige and Emma duke it out, in the minds of the fans that is, for the title of Degrassi's Original Bitch (correct me if I'm wrong). I have to give the crown to Ashley though because I think she deserves it. She initially showed us this during her original stint on Degrassi in it's first four seasons. She was being nice for a while when she returned and I was kinda sad. But then! Then, the real Ashley returned for that one Season 6 episode where Ashley deletes Jimmy's rap off their demo track because she is jealous of Wheelchair Jimmy's supa fly, hip-hop flow

     So, the only reason Jashley wins is because it brought back bitchy Ashley who was the only character, besides Paige, of course, who was brave enough to embrace the bitchiness, caress the bitchiness and love the bitchiness.
     Also, if you've ever wanted to see Ashley in her bra and panties, then this is the relationship for you. Oh! And if you wanted to see Jimmy's boner you'd like Jashley 2.0. I mean, we saw Spinner's so, why not?

*mwah* There! Now we both still have a reason to be on the show.
         But, overall, Jashley is a major fail. This was Degrassi just throwing people together AS USUAL. First, Jimmy gets his heart broken by Ellie (HAHAHAHAHAHA!). (I love Jimmy but relationship-wise he always gets the short stick. Having a crush on Ellie? I think the wheel chair straps were squeezing his legs to tight and cutting off blood to his brain.) Then Ashley, fresh off of a plane from London, is all, "I love you, Jimmy!" It was so weird and so incredibly random that no one genuinely questioned it because we weren't sure what we had just seen. Us: "Wait. Did Ashley just kiss Jimmy? When was the last time they even talked? Huhhhh? Oh well." Basically Jashley 2.0 is the first indication that Degrassi writers were about to give up. (Spoiler alert: they give up somewhere around the middle of Season 7).

"Uhh...why did you just do that?"
   I really think the writers just felt bad for leading us (and Jimmy) on with the whole fake-me-out Ellie romance so they just stuck him with someone familiar. A convenient someone who had yet to graduate because she was too busy being bitchy in London: "I'm not American. I'm Canadian, dumb ass!...HOCKEY!"

3. Patt (Paige and Matt, aka. Mr. O)

Watch the horn, dude.
     Another made up 'ship name from yours truly. As you can tell by their being on this list, I'm not too wild about Paige and Mr. O. However, one of the winning points of this pairing though is the funness (that's a word) of a secret, elicit, romance. Besides Craig screwing Manny on the side, this was the first secret, Degrassi relationship. It was fun watching Paige and Mr. O try to avoid anyone finding out they were making out in closets and eating lemon squares in the park. Also, Patt gave us two of Degrassi's finer moments: 1) The Manny and Paige GIRL FIGHT. (Although it was pretty lame compared to Emma and Alex's throwdown) and 2) "You're dumping me? And giving me drugs?" So delightfully bad and soo very LOL-worthy.
      On the bad side, Mr. O was kinda gross. I'm guessing he was half-rhino or half-unicorn because, for some odd reason, he was sprouting a horn of some sort right in the middle of his forehead. He never completely transformed and of this I am deeply saddened because I was always hoping Mr. O would transform into a pretty unicorn and gallop away with Marco on his back into the Land of Fantastical Rainbows. Ok, I never really hoped for this. But now, thinking back on it, it would've been a much more fitting send off for them, right?
     More bad: Paige and Mr.O's epically lame break-up. (See the above "dumping and giving me drugs" quote.) I mean, it didn't make any sense. "Yeah, sorry Paige. I'm gonna go be a teacher in the Yukon. But here, have some weed to remember me by. See ya later!" I know they were just trying to get him outta the way so they could pave the way for Palex but, come on now, there are much better ways to do it.

"Man...I wish Marco was here."

2. Jiberty (JT and Liberty)
JT makes out with a bowl of oatmeal
     I just can't get into the Liberty and JT pairing mostly because I thought they were kinda...nasty. Why "nasty"? Well, because of Liberty, of course. As any Degrassi fan knows, Liberty crushed on JT since forever. But it was always annoying, never cute. You got the impression that you would never see the two of them together because Liberty was constantly butthurt over something while JT was the resident joker and free-spirit. Not a good combo in my book. So it was weird when the writers suddenly decided JT should return those feelings. I mean, I don't hate Liberty as much as some people do; she was much more bearable in her last couple of seasons. But her and JT? No, I didn't buy it.(I also didn't buy that JT would pick Liberty over smokin' hot, meatball sub, Mia. But then Pia came along and I'm now sure, more then ever, that JT was smarter than he looked.)
     But it wasn't just Liberty. Their "chemistry" was kind of nasty too. It was just gross watching them make out with each other and be all lovey dovey. Not as gross as the nightmarish Liberty and Toby kiss we were forced to endure (*shudder*) but almost just as bad. Their dialogue always came off as extra corny (JT started talking very strangely when he got with Liberty). I never really bought that JT would all of sudden be into Liberty as much as I could buy her still pinning after him for all those years. There was just nothing sexy about their tragic, young love and I like my tragic love sexy, dammit!

Oh lordy...
     Despite all that, we did get our second pregnancy thanks to Jiberty. Before Degrassi writers got bored and just started re-writing their characters and storylines (we all know Clare, Alli, Connor and KC were a lame attempt to recreate the Fantastic Foursome/sometimes Fivesome of Emma, Manny, JT, Toby and Sean), they seemed to actually be able to recreate some themes without it seeming super redundant. Liberty's pregnancy was completely different from Manny's. First of all, she wasn't a piece on the side. Secondly, she decided to give the baby up for adoption. Thirdly, JT played a much bigger baby-daddy role then Craig did and brought drama of his own to the drama party. And lastly, Liberty's pregnancy was completely unexpected. Liberty was supposed to be Ms. Responsible so it was interesting seeing what she went through. Anyways, I say kudos to Degrassi for a job well decently done.

1. Parcy (Peter and Darcy)

Manny struggles to hold back the puke as she witnesses "true love"
     Aw man, words cannot begin to describe my love for the pairing of Peter and Darcy. They were Degrassi's own Romeo + Juliet. The most epic of Degrassi couples since the beginning of Degrassi time. The height of all Degrassi love, sacrifice and heartfelt sorrow. The master Degrassi combo of creeper-ness and fantastical weaves. Parcy: the very best worst Degrassi couple ever.
     As you might have gathered, I'm very fond of Parcy. They epitomize what a Degrassi best worst couple should be. While you shake your head at their lame, contrived drama, the annoying antics they get up to and their extremely bad dialogue, you continue to giggle in sheer delight every time they grace the screen and you think to yourself, "Gee, I hope this never ends!" Unfortunately, it always does. :'(
     So what's so bad about Parcy? Well, every thing that's good.

Secret lovers caught in their passionate tryst.
   Darcy was further proof that Degrassi girls are dumb as rocks. After Peter lies to her constantly and almost gets her raped by a Kevin Smith look-a-like, Darcy decides she's madly in love with Mr. Stone and that their destined for eternal love. Only at Degrassi. Then the DRAMA commenced. I could be good here and look up why it is that Peter and Darcy decided they just couldn't be together in public, but I'm too lazy. Also, I suspect it was some strange delusion of theirs that made them think that way anyway. But, off the top of my head, I think it had something to do with Peter being in trouble with his mommmy and not being allowed to kiss on girls.After they solved that non-dilemma, Peter and Darcy were left to prance through Degrassi halls whining at each other and being stupid.
     Kinda like Pia, the worst part of the Darcy + Peter equation was the annoying chick involved: Darcy. Miss high and mighty. (And somehow Spirit Squad captain even though Manny had been there much longer.) Darcy was one of the most annoying Degrassi characters ever and even though she sorta mellowed out when she was with Pete, she still made me want to punch her in the weave. Wait, no, not the weave; I love her Raggedy Anne weave. Don't get me wrong though, Darcy was one of those classic "love to hate her" characters for me so I was a bit sad when she left. But only a bit!
     On a (rare) serious note, one good thing about Parcy was how they factored in to Darcy's rape storyline - one of the saving grace's of season 7, IMO. Peter did a good job being the supportive boyfriend so, for most of season 7, you forgot that Parcy was a dumb couple and actually rooted for them to make things work.
     The best part of Parcy, though, was how incredibly contrived they were and the humour that ensued from such a fact. I already mentioned the stupid way they got together. But also stupid was the fact that the two of them had absolutely nothing in common. It wasn't even like Liberty and JT who had been (sorta) friends for a while or Sean and Emma who just worked because they just did. I mean, the dude almost set a sexual predator on her and she forgets after a couple of weeks. Once they got together though, Degrassi really took it to another level with their lame and hilarious dialogue. Feast your eyes on these gems (exclamations added for increased dramatic effect):

~Darcy: " are my prince!"

~Peter: They're sending me away! I've got nothing to lose except you! 
   Darcy: Peter - you got me!"

~Darcy: Your mom can't keep us apart, Peter! I believe that love conquers all!"

     I mean, these are really bad but, they're exactly why I love Parcy. We have delusional writers thinking their fans are dumb enough to fall for the intense, whirlwind "romance" between two delusional characters and that combination creates some of the best of the worst Degrassi coupledom ever.
Ah, young, delusional love.


P.S. - Question: I'm curious. Who do you think is Degrassi's Original Bitch?
P.P.S. - I'm gonna take a break from Degrassi Top 5s for now but there will be more in the future. :)

They grow up so fast.

Most pictures are actually mine! Aren't you proud of me? "Parcy" pictures courtesy of Boycott the Caf and the Degrassi website. No copyright infringement intended. 


LifeNStyle said...

You speak only truth as an ORIGINAL Degrassi fan like myself is capable of. Clair- Emma, Alli- Manny, yes they've given up, but I am dying to know what you think about the wtf convinient "get them off the show" Emma and Spinner marriage!!!! Seriously an insult to true fans, and just wondering what ever happened to Spinner's sister and Sean? Haha Please (if the past seasons haven't burned your retinas and destroyed your intelligence, post more!!!

Julie King said...

Jiberty is my fave couple because they loved each other, and the relationship wasn't "nasty" it was very beautiful