Thursday, December 31, 2009

Why I (Didn't) Love...

Curse you 09!

*SIGH* Oh, 2009. It started mildly hopeful (first black prez, Aretha's hat) and then descended into torture (Jon and Kate, Balloon Boy) not too long after. Here are just 5 of many things that made 2009 and me NOT cuddly friends:

Celebrity deaths: 2009, being the ruthless murderess she is, took too many lives this year, especially this summer. I'm sure you know of all the great people who passed away this year so I'm not gonna give you a list. The point is, rather, that 2009 took all the WRONG people leaving a big black hole in our famous people-loving hearts. May they all rest in peace. (Stupid 2009...)

"Single Ladies": According to Wikipedia, the "Single Ladies" music video was released sometime in October of 2008. So, why why
why are we still hearing this song EVERYWHERE? It was cute before ("Oh, that B!") but now it's just annoying. No more. I'm not putting a ring on anything Beyoncé so leave me alone!

Dun dun dun! The evil swine flu. Although swine flu was a good excuse to not make physical contact with that one nasty kid and provided fun hand-sanitizing foam, it proved to be a not so fun illness. When knowledge of swine flu first entered our brains, I was afraid it was gonna be the end of the world the way they were going on about it. True, swine flu has joined 2009 with her murdering ways but it has yet to wipe out the whole human race so...yeah...

Jay Leno: I haven't seen Jay Leno's new show so it isn't very fair of me to be criticizing him. Too bad; I'm gonna do it anyway. Supposedly Mr. Leno has been screwing over Conan by ruining his (pseudo) lead-in duties and sending viewers running to other channels for the 10 o'clock slot. Jay, this was year to retire, drive your numerous cars, stuff your face with meat and buff your chin. Maybe 2009 would've been better if you had just quit like you were supposed to.

More Twilight: Ugh. This year, thanks to New Moon, we sane people had to suffer through more Twilight crap: more Twihard squeeing, more Team Jake vs. Team Eddie arguments, more insanity. If we must endure Twilight for TWO MORE YEARS can we please stop insulting everyone's intelligence and admit it is NOT a saga? Please?

SO 2009 was kinda annoying and I'm a bit whiny but it wasn't all that bad. We got to enjoy Taylor Swift's happy-go-lucky songs. We got to see Miley shake her thang in booty shorts. We got to be entertained by iCarly. We got to make fun of JONAS. We got to root for Conan in LA. And King Kevin took a Queen. Not great, but not too bad, no?

Here's to hoping that 2010 is much, much better!

ciao, 2009!

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