Why I Love....

...Beef Stew (2010 Wrap-up Edition)!
(whoa! Two features merge to become one!)


The year is coming to an end and I haven't had Beef Stew in quite a while. I need my protein so let's grub.


Ya know, 2010 has been a fairly decent year. But, as usual, more things annoyed me rather than giving me that warm, fuzzy, loving feeling. So while I'd love to end the year on a purely positive note, it's just more fun this way...wouldn't you agree? Here are couple people & things that I had major beef with this year...and loved it:
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Miley Cyrus
When Miley was first stretching her sexy bone back in 2009, it was pretty amusing. But 2010 came around and Miley decided short-shorts and push-up bras were not enough. All year we've been forced to look at her underage crotch and boobies while listening to her really crappy music. (Actually, thanks to those songs sucking that hard, we haven't had to hear them too much. For once the pop world gets it right and shuns the right songs. Current record: 2/1,000,000,000,000)


The thing with Miley is, try as she might, she is not and will never be sexy. And yet, no one's clued her in. As a result, we innocents continue to be tortured. I mean, it's pretty damn obvious what she's trying to do. Hannah Montana is finally being put out of it's misery and Miley, not content to just fade into oblivion and leave us all alone, is trying hard to prolong her "career" by transforming herself into an "adult" performer. (No, not that kind. Ugh, please...it's too early for vomit.)


What she's really doing is pissing off the parents off all the little girls that made her money and grossing the rest of us out. Oh yeah, and annoying all of us with that terribly grating voice of hers. Sorry, Miley, but all the cool, older people you're trying so hard to impress with your cooch thought you were lame before and there's not much you can do to change that. No, not even smoking salvia and getting "high."


For all these reasons you've been dethroned as my idol. Yes, it's all very sad.


Lady Gaga
I think I've mentioned a couple times before on the Juicebox that I had yet to come to a decision on the Gaga. I wasn't sure - was Lady Gaga a real, genius artist who was just too cool and avant garde for lame, old me? Or was she just a fancy famewhore who had managed to trick the masses into thinking she was a real, genius artist? Well, I've decided: Lady Gaga is just a fancy famewhore who's managed to trick the masses into thinking she's a real, genius artist.


Now, let's get this part out of the way: I don't not think that Gaga is talented. She is a good singer and she does churn out (annoyingly) catchy pop tunes. Oh yes, and as her fans love to mention, she can play the piano. *eye roll*


But a genius? A visionary? The world's most creative fashionista? PUH-LEASE! Wearing funny costumes, making catchy pop tunes and playing the piano a genius does not make. Why do you think she wears those outrageous costumes EVERYDAY, EVERYWHERE she goes? Because Gaga wants attention and wants very badly for you to not forget she exists and how WACKY, OUTRAGEOUS and AVANT GARDE she is. I mean why else would you wear these boots? (HAHAHAHA! @ her falling down)


As for the piano playing part...lots of people can play the piano and sing at the same time; it's not that difficult. And it really doesn't make her special or super-duper talented. And anyone can sing the stuff she sings about. None of it is particularly deep or meaningful. Examples:
-Telephone: Please stop calling me; I'm dancing with my friends at the club.
-Paparazzi: I'm so obsessed with you, it's like when paparazzi follows a star.
-Just Dance: Just dance.


Anyway, 2010 was the year of annoying Gaga. She tried her hand at politics, wore more stupid clothes (meat dress), made long, ridiculous videos (you're not MJ) and tried to be a fashion professor (WTF?!). Gaga 2010 wouldn't have been so bad if people would just acknowledge that she's nothing more than a overhyped pop star. And it would have been beautiful if she had just disappeared but...that's not gonna happen anytime soon, is it? *sadface*


Lindsay Lohan
UGH. This chick. How many chances does one crackhead get? And how delusional can one bitch be? *cough*DinaLohan*cough*


As almost everyone has said before, any of us normal folks would have found our asses in jail after going on a coked-up joy ride with captives in the backseat of our stolen cars. Or violating our probation. Or failing multiple drug tests. Lindsay, however, just gets herself a bit of probation. And after she violates that, she just gets a bit more. And even when her judges sprout some balls and send her to jail, she only spends a couple seconds in there.


I mean, I guess I understand...Lindsay Lohan is a prolific actress with unending amounts of talent and she must stay out of jail in order to do research for all the roles that are being offered to her. Ok, so, yeah, I guess I understand now...


._.


Famous mistresses
Anyone can be a useless whore...you're not that special. Please go away.
____


Ahhh, yes, I love me some beef and those were the juiciest steaks this year had to offer. Happy End of 2010 guys! Let's hope there's more good beef in 2011.


ciao!

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Why I Love...

...Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1!

Think of this as one of those fancy, critical "movie reviews." Except a lot less intelligent.


It feels so unnatural and wrong to say that I "loved" a Harry Potter movie because I usually strongly dislike Harry Potter movies. (And yet I go out and buy all of them and watch them multiple times...My mind works funny.) But I actually, really, genuinely liked this movie. I think it's due first and foremost to the fact that 1) Deathly Hallows is the only Harry Potter book I have yet to read more than once and 2) I haven't read it in quite a while. That really helped because I didn't have all the details of the book hanging out in my head space.


As "just a movie", I think it worked very well. The performances were really good (yes, even you, Emma). Rupert brought it like he has since the first movie and I love him for it. (Plus I suspect he's got hidden pec action going on under all those clothes which I find hot.) D.Rad has been steadily improving and it shows. And Emma, well...yeah...she wasn't bad, or whatever. Anyway, as for the other people, I liked that Bill Nighy was there, even if it was for only a couple minutes. I found Bellatrix annoying. I've never really liked Helena Boham Carter as Bellatrix but that's probably because I don't cream my panties over the character like some other Potter fans do. I'm sad that hot piece Blaise Zabini (don't know the actor's name) wasn't just randomly there for no reason because, well, he's a hot piece.


As for technical stuff, despite my 4 years of "training," I can't really say much about it critically. But from a plebeian point of view, I found the saturated color complemented the mood very well. And I found the hand-held camera (I think it was hand-held?? Either that or their Steadicam was broken) very intriguing and odd because it just popped up really randomly. Whatever.


I want to talk about the plot as a "just a movie" plot but, I really can't. Even though I don't remember the details very well, I still remember the basic plot of the book so I can't separate it from the "just a movie" plot. So, moving on to the "book adaption movie," besides the first two movies (which were probably, admittedly, pretty easy to adapt) this has been the best adaption of any of the books. I'll wait to judge the whole lack of Dumbledore's backstory since we have another 2.5 hours of plot left. Since there weren't too many "WTF?! Where is [blank]!" moments, I think they did a fairly decent job bringing this book to screen. It probably doesn't hurt that they have approx. 5 hours to do it.


As usual, I have to complain:
1)It was kinda annoying when they tried to weasel in things that they should have introduced before but couldn't until now. I can't recall any off the top of my head but it would be something like, "Oh, look, there's RUFUS SCRIMGEOUR, the Minister of Magic who came to power after Fudge stepped down about two years ago. I wonder what he's doing here?"


2)Why why why did Harry and Ron not have their heart-to-heart after he destroyed the Horcrux??? It wouldn't take that long and it was important in finally defining Harry and Hermione's relationship as strictly platonic. Ugh. Steve Kloves is totally a Harry/Hermione shipper.


3)When I read the book I was mostly looking forward to Ron's quasi-emotional breakdown at Malfoy Manor when Hermione was getting tortured. They were all so chill down there while Hermione was getting tortured (which wasn't as hardcore as it should've been) and that was annoying. Like I said, I'm convinced Kloves is a H/Hr shipper AND that he hates Ron because he never wants to show Ron or Hermione showing extreme affection for each other. And that annoys me. Because I found Ron's wailing and shouting and crying for Hermione really moving in the book.


4) There were some dumb unnecessary sequences like 1)Snape going to Hogwarts, 2) Neville on the train to Hogwarts, 3)that really stupid bit where Hermione was like "Put up the tent," then they faded to a shot of the tent, then faded out again. That was stupid.


Besides that stuff, and some other stuff that I've been told was important and missing, the movie was really good. I was pleasantly surprised and that was nice. (Also the theater I went to had caramel popcorn! How awesome is that?! I mean, it kinda sucked and got really stuck in my teeth but it was still really cool.) I'm cutting them a lot of slack since there's a second half of the movie. So, HP movie-makers, you have escaped my wrath this time. Nice going because I was totes sharpening my machete.


...


ciao!


P.S. - I wonder if I'll suddendly hate it after finally re-reading the book? Hmm....
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All Hail King Kevin! . . . Again!

It's that's time of year!

Man it's been quite a year for our man, King Kevin. He's now 23, married, officially in a band with all adults, and the proud owner of a Steve sweater. Happy Birfday, yo. We'll see you for the big 2-4. (It's big because the first is the square root of the latter.)

PS Estherocket has a November 5th post too. It's wonderfully nerdier though.

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Why I Love...

... Rock of Ages, the musical.

So I've shown my concern about certain rock musicals in the past. I love me a good rock opera (I mean, hello! JC Superstar?), but it's hard to take music we already know and love and make them work on Broadway. So when Estherocket (you know from We're Tight Like Lithium and Beryllium) initially mentioned Rock of Ages, a musical full of 80's hair metal, the Lady Friend and I were hesitant and instead picked the other option, Million Dollar Quartet. (It was awesome, JSYK.) Rock of Ages would have to wait.

For those who don't know, the basic plot of RoA follows Drew and Sherrie in their Sunset Strip love story, narrated by the fabulously mulleted Lonny, and with classic hair metal songs to sing alone with. But even with mullets and great music I was hesitant. I mean, come on; I'd seen what Broadway had done to Green Day. I was afraid of what it would do to the 80's awesomeness. Plus, Constantine Maroulis was the star. American Idol people aren't real people.

Anywho, the touring company stopped in Boston these past two weeks and I gave in to my fears and went. This is what we saw:

Per usual, Estherocket was right. It was a-to-the-muther-effin-awesome. In fact, we saw it twice.

(Imma be Lonny for Halloween next year. I would this time around but I'm all set for Tank Girl. Also, the touring girl, Rebecca Faulkenberry has a better voice for this show/music.)

Tomorrow is the last day for Boston, but the rest of the country is next in line for face-melting greatness.

An American Idol dude won me over. Who knew?

PS youtube some videos of Constantine singing "Midnight Radio". It's awesome. I'd love to see him as Hedwig.

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Why I Love...

...old school Late Night with Conan O'Brien clips!
(whoo! that was a mouthful)
(not really)



I was gonna love "Skins" this month but I only have 3 hours til September is over. Loving fail! I won't procrastinate next time.


Anyway, there's no reason not to give any last minute love to old school Conan O'Brien. I'm always tardy for the party so I didn't really start watching Conan until he took over the Tonight Show and even then I didn't watch him religiously. But I do have love for Conan's awkwardness, his sense of humor and his great knack for self-deprecation. He obviously doesn't take himself too seriously and it makes for some great fun.


The above video is my absolute favorite old school Conan clip that I've found (Particularly the English muffin bit...Don't give me that look. Watch it and you'll know what I'm talking about. Geez...) And here are a couple others that gave me a serious case of the giggles:





ciao!


P.S. - Happy October!
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Holy Legal!

Today is Nick Jonas' 18th birthday. I was gonna be all "Poor Nick! His crazy fangirls will attack him in the streets and tear his clothes off in want of his now legal body!"


...Then I remembered no one cares about the JoBros anymore; there's a new JB in town. (The Biebster, in case you didn't pick up on that. I thought it was pretty clever, ya know? Since they both have the initials JB. Yeah...I'm mighty clever.)


Lucky you, Nick. You're in the clear. Now you can breathe a sigh of relief and go back to being the most boring JoBro.*

Happy Birfday, Nick!

* Kevin = most royal/awesome Jonas; Joe = most annoying/really annoying Jonas

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Why I Love...

...Summer Radio!

To me, summer radio is special. It's the only time I really listen to the radio seeing as a)I only really listen when I'm in a car and b)I'm usually only hanging out with my car for a couple weeks out of the school year. So, the only time I get to catch up with what the young folks are listening to are doing those breaks at home.

What I love about summer radio is all the great lessons you learn. Yep, the schooling extends beyond the classroom. Due to most Top 40-esque radio stations only playing like, 12 songs on hour rotations, you tend to have some very important lessons hammered into your head over the course of 3 months. Here are 5 of the MOST important lessons I learned this summer. I can't wait to tell you what I learned!

._.


1. " Break Your Heart" taught by Professor Taio Cruz (with help from T.A. Ludacris)
What I Learned: It's a very basic lesson really: Taio Cruz is gonna break break your break break your heart. Don't worry, if you missed it the first time around, he repeats for you about 10 more times throughout the song. And if you miss it then, Ludacris will eventually put it into other words for you. Then Taio will repeat it again. It's a good teaching strategy, I must say.

2. " OMG" taught by Professor Usher (with help from T.A. will.i.am)
What I Learned: Usher Raymond, a grown ass man, refers to a woman's chest as "boobies." And he thinks they're "pow pow pow," whatever that means.

3. " Billionaire" taught by Professor Travie McCoy (with help from T.A. Bruno Mars aka the new love of my life)
What I Learned: When you can't understand what a person is singing, it ruins the joke they try to tell. Professor McCoy says, "It's been a couple months that I've been single so, you can call me 'Travie Claus' minus the ho-hos. Get it?" At first I didn't "get it" because I couldn't understand the "since I've been single so" part. But, now I get it and it's not that funny. Disappointing. Oh, also, most importantly: Travie wants to be a billionaire, so freakin' bad.

4. " Haven't Met You Yet" taught by Professor Michael Bublé
What I Learned: This is not a lesson that masters of summer radio would let me forget. Professor Bublé has yet to meet the woman of his dreams and he wants all of us to know. Too bad he doesn't know how desperate that makes him sound. Especially since homeboy recently got engaged. So, that means they should've stopped playing the song a while ago, right?? I know you agree.

5. " California Gurls" taught by Professor Katy Perry (with help from T.A. Snoop Dogg)
What I Learned: Cal-i-forn-ia gurls are unforgettable. And really, fcking annoying. A lesson I didn't mind learning at first soon became insufferable. It was like, ok Professor Perry, I get it! California gurls wear bikini tops and daisy dukes. Now leave me alone!

These are only 5 of the many songs that became unbearable over the course of the summer. Being someone who does have some love for pop songs, I liked quite a few of these upon first listen. But then I started to hear them all the time. Others include "Alejandro" by the Gaga (that evil, evil, little woman), "Airplanes" by B.o.B., "Your Love is My Drug" by Ke$ha (haha, that looks dumb), "Find Your Love" by Drake and "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem ft. Rihanna.

And this is what I love about summer radio. They take their 12 mildly enjoyable songs and play them over and over and over and over again, annoying us half to death until that artist releases another single (Example: "Dynamite" offered us reprieve from Taio Cruz's incessant warnings about breaking all our hearts). It's like they don't understand; your playing "Love the Way You Lie" once every half and hour does not make me like the song more. It makes me hate you (and Eminem) a lot. I know, I know, I can change the station. The only problem with that is I run the risk of hearing "Pretty Boy Swag."

*shiver*

ciao, summer!
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